Teach your Children about Honesty

Cultivate Godly Character in your Children Series – Week 2

We are diving into our cultivating godly character series and teaching kids about honesty. What is honesty? Honesty is speaking the truth about life, self, others and God. It’s also about being authentic and having integrity. Being the person God made you to be whether you are at church, home or school. Telling the truth is always the wise choice. Being sincere about who you are with others gains trust. Make a commitment to tell the truth and live sincerely.

Live it out – Be an Example

Our children are watching us, and so as with everything, it starts with us being an example. Dishonesty is one of the sins that everyone, young and old, has committed. Only with the Lord’s strength can we be changed from the inside out.

Repent for times of dishonesty and move forward with the Lord, one step at a time and with prayer for desiring change in this area.

Be intentional and committed to doing the right thing. Repent when you fall short. You will fall short, so don’t expect perfection. It’s about progress and growth, not perfection or legalism. God searches and knows our hearts and motivation. Depend on His Spirit, for the will and work.

For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

Phil 2:13

Isn’t that amazing! We don’t even have to depend on ourselves for the will to do something. God is at work in us, helping us to even desire doing what pleases Him.

So how is your example of honesty with your children. Do your yeses mean yes and your no’s mean no? Can they depend on you to do what you say and say what you do?

What about honesty with others? Do they hear you speak truth in love with others around you? Or do you avoid confrontations at all costs and live to please people? Do you lie to get away with something, or speak the truth always, even when it hurts you or others.

I am guilty of all of the above, and am constantly learning and growing in this area. We are the model and biggest influencers for our children and we need to first show honesty and integrity in our lives.

⁷ Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity,⁸ and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.

Titus 2:7

Teach Children Honesty – Use God’s Word

We want to teach our children honesty from a biblical worldview. The world may say it is ok to tell white lies to protect from hurting someone. But what does God say?

We want to teach that the Bible is the final authority over our lives and is what we go to to measure right from wrong. So what does God’s Word say about telling the truth? Why is it important to tell the truth? Do I always have to tell the truth? Is it Ok to lie sometimes? Below are biblical principles to teach your children about honesty.

Biblical Principles About Honesty:

1. God is Truth

God cannot lie because it is not consistent with who He is. God is truth, it is one of His attributes. God is true in all that He does.

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

John 14:6

2. God Values Honesty

We learned above that God cannot lie. Truth is one of his attributes and He sets the example for us. It is His desire for us to follow Him. In contrast, Satan is the “father of lies” and “the deceiver.” When we lie we poorly reflect Christ.

When we are honest and tell the truth it shows we are like God. The Lord has great joy when His children are living a life of truth.

⁴ I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

3 John 1:4

3. Honesty is Wise

Honesty is always the wise thing to do, even if its hard or hurts others. Jesus and Paul were bold and told the truth; it was not always easy, but it was the right thing to do. Ask God to give you courage to stand up for the truth.

Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness

Eph 6:14

4. Truth with Love is Best

Jesus spoke with authority and directness, but He also did it out of love and humbleness. Jesus is perfectly just and merciful.

Humble yourself first before you confront someone, and speak truth with love. Check your motivation too. Speak out of love for others. Jesus lived a life of integrity and honesty. Ask God to give you courage to speak the truth and the grace to do it lovingly.

¹⁵ Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,

Eph 4:15

5. Honesty Builds Trust with Others

Being sincere and honest is pleasing to God and it also helps others to trust you. Following through on what you say, or speaking truth instead of lies shows you are dependable, responsible and trustworthy. Our actions speak louder than our words, so let us say what we mean and mean what we say, and strive for speaking truth in every situation.

¹⁸ Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

1 John 3:18

Teach Children Honesty – God’s Wisdom

Teaching with God’s wisdom is all about applying the Word in our lives. How can we practically teach and apply what we have learned about honesty in our own lives and in our children’s lives.

We’ve already seen how important it is to be an example of honesty. Take evaluation of how you are doing in this area.

I know I need a lot of work in this area, and writing this post has brought a lot of conviction for myself. Being honest is hard! It takes a lot of prayer, intentionality and living with a determination to choose truth.

And what about with our children? What should we do when we catch them in a lie? Or when they confess a lie to us?

What to do if you catch your child in a lie?

1. Talk with them – sit down and talk to them about what is going on. Share some of the biblical lessons above and read a verse to them. Perhaps even share a moment when you lied or had to overcome lying. When we remain humble and try to relate and understand our child, we are more likely to win their hearts and they will want to come to us with the truth. It is important not to shame them. Most children lie to avoid consequences, and to give shame will cause them to want to cover up more next time.
2. Explain that lying is sin – while it is normal and human for every person to lie at some point, we need to call lying what it is, sin. Share with your children, that sin, left untreated will continue to grow.
3. Have accountability – Explain to your children that you will work together to overcome lying. Set up a clear consequence so they know what to expect next time they lie.
4. Explain the effects of lying – share with them how lying hurts their trust with another person. Also, explain to them that lying not only affects their relationships, but it also hurts they liar’s reputation. Others view the liar as someone they will not trust and cannot be close to because of this.
5. Talk about Emotions – Ask them how they feel when they lie and explain to them some of the emotions they might feel. When children first start lying they feel guilt and may go be alone or change the subject quickly.

Teach your Children about Honesty – Build Relationship

Studies have shown that children are less likely to lie when they have strong relationships with their parents. Those with good relationships are able to talk with mom and dad more openly and are less likely to lie. As said before, most children lie to avoid getting in trouble or be shamed.

How have you taught your children about honesty? What worked for you? What didn’t?