How to Instill Honesty in Your Child

How can I instill honesty in my child, especially when they start lying about small things?

Just the other day, my youngest ate some of his sister’s guacamole, and when she asked, “Hey, did you eat my guacamole?” he looked right at me and said, “No.” I had watched him eat it! I gently said, “Don’t lie, buddy.”

It made me think about why kids sometimes lie. The top three reasons I’ve noticed are:

1. Avoiding consequences – They lie to avoid getting in trouble.

2. Fear of disappointment – They don’t want to let us down and fear our reaction.

3. Seeking attention – Sometimes, they lie to impress or fit in.

Ultimately, our kids need to feel safe, valued, and accepted. When we meet those needs, we have a better chance of reducing their urge to lie. So, how can we practically address this?

Here are a few ideas that I’ve found helpful:

Create a Safe Space for Honesty One of the best ways to encourage honesty is by creating an environment where your child feels safe telling the truth, even when it’s hard. Let them know that your love isn’t based on perfection. When they admit a mistake, respond with calmness and affirm their honesty. You could say something like, “I’m really proud of you for telling the truth. It shows so much courage, and I love that about you.” It’s those little affirmations that can make a huge difference.
Focus on Solutions, Not Just Consequences When your child lies, it’s tempting to jump straight to punishment, but instead, try focusing on finding a solution together. This helps them see that honesty isn’t about avoiding consequences but about learning and growing. For example, if something gets broken, instead of jumping to punishment, you might say, “How do you think we can fix this?” This teaches accountability in a way that builds their confidence.
Be a Role Model of Honesty Let’s be real—none of us are perfect! Our kids are always watching how we handle our own mistakes. If you mess up, don’t be afraid to admit it. Say something like, “I made a mistake today, and I want to fix it.” This shows your child that honesty is something we all work on, and it’s a family value. And when they tell the truth, be sure to celebrate that moment! Say something like, “I know it was hard to tell the truth, but I’m so proud of you for doing it.” It’s those little moments that reinforce how much we value honesty in our homes.

I’ve been sending out my email series, “Graceful Parenting,” and I hope it’s been helpful for you. It’s designed to address the top questions from Christian moms who are in the trenches of parenting, just like you. Whether you’re feeling exhausted, frustrated, or just trying to be the mom God created you to be, I’m praying this series encourages you. Be sure to join and grab my FREE Raising Disciples Guide HERE

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