Cultivating a Heart of Gratitude in Your Children
For years I desired to keep a gratitude journal, but like most things that quickly fade away, I just couldn’t find the time and made excuses. I would start a journal and be committed, only to give up a month later.
But God in His goodness showed me the importance of gratitude. Through a very difficult season in our marriage and family in 2017, my husband was let go of his job. And while he found another job fairly quickly within a few months, the new job didn’t cover our bills, in fact, it didn’t even cover rent. So we knew it was a temporary fix for our situation. Or so we thought.
As the months rolled on, from three months, to six months and nine months and a year, I thought to myself when is this going to end? We went through all our savings, and literally lived day to day in our finances, not having enough for simple groceries at times.
We ended up moving out of that rental home nearly a year and a half after he lost his higher income job. We moved to a new state, and with our five children ranging from eight years old to six-months old, moved in with our in-laws in Las Vegas. In Vegas, my husband was unemployed completely and continued to be for another six months.
And yet during this hardest trial for our family so far, God showed up. And He did amazing things.
God led someone to give us a gift card for groceries on a day when I didn’t know how we were going to buy food.
He sent someone anonymously to leave a new car seat and stroller on our front door for our soon to be expecting baby.
God orchestrated a stranger to give us a $5 Target gift card, so I could buy ballet tights for my daughter. In that moment, I felt God was showing me it was all going to be okay and to trust Him. That He not only cared about the big things, but that He was a God who also cared about the small things.
And in our hardest time in our marriage so far, God used the power of gratitude to help me not only to survive, but to give me deep joy and contentment. The kind of hope that comes from knowing God alone is enough. Gratitude helped me attain that kind of perspective.
Gratitude showed me that I get to live with my in-laws, not grumble that I had to. That they were generous to open their homes to us and gave us opportunities for our children to be around their grandparents more and even learn some Spanish.
Gratitude changed my perspective from being a victim of my circumstances to trusting in the Victor, and showed me to be thankful in all circumstances.
So I want to encourage my children to live with this kind of perspective. The perspective that comes from gratitude.
With our children, more is caught than taught, so if we want our children to have an attitude of gratitude, we need to set the example.
Teach your children by looking up verses on gratitude together and talk about how God is teaching you in your own life. Ask your children if they can think of examples in their own lives.
Praise your children when they are thankful and choose an attitude of gratitude over grumbling and complaining.
Below are three biblical truths about gratitude that I recently learned from Wives of Integrity speaker Lisa Appelo, and how I am applying them in my own life so that I can be an example for our children. You could also read these truths to your children, focusing on one/day and making it into a family devotional together, which is what I plan on doing with my children.
Be sure to check out Lisa Appelo’s entire post on gratitude at The Power of Gratitude: 12 Benefits of Giving God Thanks.
3 Biblical Truths About Gratitude – Teach Your Children and Live it Out
1. Gratitude Grows our Faith
Keeping a prayer journal, becomes not just a record of thanks, but a record of God’s faithfulness. This was the reason I wanted to keep a prayer journal for so many years. I did not want to forget all the amazing things God had done in my life. I wanted a record to look back and see God’s faithfulness and goodness over so many prayers. I regret not starting one earlier. We think we won’t forget what God has done for us, but we often do.
Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good,
for his steadfast love endures forever.
Psalm 136:1
2. Gratitude Opens the Door to Joy
It is not happy people who are thankful, but thankful people who are happy
Unknown
Gratitude leads to joy. One of the most prolific hymn writers and author of the beloved hymn “Blessed Assurance,” Fanny Crosby, spend most of her life blind, but she was determined to be thankful and content throughout her life. When she was just nine years old she wrote:
“O what a happy soul am I,
Although I cannot see,
I am resolved that in this world
Contented I will be.
How many blessings I enjoy
That other people don’t.
To weep and sigh because I’m blind,
I cannot, and I won’t
Fanny Crosby, at 9 years old
She chose to live a life of thankfulness. We can choose that same attitude. We can choose to focus on the negative and what we wished were different in our lives. Or we can be thankful for the many blessings God has given us. One choice leads to misery, the latter leads to joy. The Lord has done great things for us;
This is the day that the Lord has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Psalm 118:24
3. Gratitude Protects Against Envy
Envy says I deserve what he/she has. When we are thankful for what God has given us and filled up with His love, we don’t have room for envy.
Children really struggle with envy and it is apparent at a young age. The toddler fights with his sibling over a toy just because his sibling has it.
Or a daughter is jealous of her sister’s birthday presents. Coveting shows up over and over in our children.
One example of this for me, is social media. I put limits on how much I am on social media because I get I struggle with the comparison trap every time I start mindlessly scrolling through Facebook.
It happened to me just the other day, and I remembered this truth about gratitude. I started thanking God for things He has given me and it helped pull me out of the lies that someone else’ life is better than mine or had things I felt I deserved. By being thankful for what I had, it turned those lies on their head and helped me to be happy for that person instead of coveting what they had.
Instead of envy, we see there is enough for everyone. And instead of seeing lack of things we feel we deserve, we see God’s abundant mercy and grace that are so undeserved.
I give you thanks, O Lord, with my whole heart;
before the gods I sing your praise;
Psalm 138:1
Ways to Practice Thankfulness with Your Children
Here are some practical ideas of how to get started being thankful yourself and giving your children practice at giving gratitude to God.
- Give thanks at dinner – everyone go around and say one thing they are thankful for that day
- Start a gratitude journal – from a simple notes app on your phone to a beautiful journal, just start taking notes on what you are thankful for. Write 1-5 things you are thankful for everyday. Tie it in with another habit you have so you remember to do it. I write five things I am thankful to God for during my Bible time. Extra tip: Write 1-5 things you are thankful about your spouse. My human nature tends to focus on what my spouse is not doing. This daily gratitude helps me so much to remember and see the things he is doing.
- Give a gratitude journal to your children – have them start with 1-5 things they are thankful for. Again tie in with a habit that is established, like every day after they brush their teeth.
- When you pray, thank God for what He has done – even in the midst of difficulty; for example, when sick, thank God we have our health to get back to.
- Let your children hear you pray out loud – thank God for blessings throughout the day. Examples – thank you Jesus for healing, when they have boo boos. Thank you God for daddy’s job, or thank you God for healing a friend you have been praying for.
- When you put your children to bed – thank God for that specific child and something you noticed about them that day. You will see them light up and smile.
How does your family practice gratitude? Let me know in the comments below.