How to Handle Your Child’s Anger: Christian Parenting Tips
Every so often, I answer a question from a parent, a Christian mom like you, right in the thick of parenting. If you’re feeling exhausted, frustrated, or just doing your best to live out your calling as the mom God made you to be, I pray these messages bring you hope and clarity. Today, I want to share Christian parenting tips for child’s anger—practical, faith-based ways to help your child navigate their big emotions with grace.
If you ever have specific parenting questions or challenges on your heart, please feel free to submit them here. I’d love to tackle them in an upcoming newsletter or blog post, so we can walk this journey together.
In case you missed any of our recent topics, here’s a quick recap:
- What can I do to build a stronger connection with my child, especially when we seem disconnected?
- What Are Effective Strategies for Parenting a Strong-Willed Child?
Now, let’s dive into this week’s question:
Question: How Can I Help My Child Handle Anger in a Healthy Way?
I have an eight-year-old child who really struggles with big emotions, especially anger. I’ve noticed that they have a hard time calming down once upset, and their outbursts seem to be getting more intense. I also struggle with anger myself, and I wonder if this is something they’ve picked up from me. When they get worked up, nothing I suggest seems to help—taking deep breaths, spending time alone to cool off, or other calming strategies are quickly dismissed. It’s becoming a challenge for the entire family, and I’m at a loss for what to do. I don’t just want to modify behavior—I want to help them experience real heart change. I’m praying about this, but I’d love guidance on how to handle these moments in a way that truly helps.
Answer
I see you, sweet friend. I know how tough it can be when your child’s anger feels like a storm that sweeps through the house, leaving everyone on edge. You’re not alone—I’ve been there too. And the fact that you’re here, seeking wisdom and praying for real heart change for your child? That already shows how deeply you love them. You’re doing a great job. Truly.
Anger isn’t bad in itself. It’s a normal emotion we all feel—yes, even us parents! The key is learning how to handle it in a healthy way, and that takes time and patience… for both you and your child. That’s why Christian parenting tips for child’s anger can make a big difference in helping both of you navigate these moments with wisdom and grace.
1. Christian Parenting Tips for Child’s Anger – Lead by Example: Model Healthy Anger Management
You mentioned that your child quickly dismisses calming strategies like deep breaths or taking time alone. I get it—sometimes it feels like nothing works in the moment. Here’s the thing: our kids are like little mirrors, reflecting what they see in us. One of the best ways to teach them is by modeling healthy anger management right in front of them.
Try saying short, honest phrases out loud when you’re feeling upset:
- “I feel upset. I’m going to take a deep breath.”
- “I feel stressed. I’m asking God for help. ‘God, please help me.’”
- “I’m feeling frustrated. I need to sit down and breathe.”
This simple shift models emotional regulation and is one of the best Christian parenting tips for child’s anger—helping them see that it’s okay to feel anger, but we can choose how to respond.
2. Christian Parenting Tips for Child’s Anger: Create a Calm-Down Plan
Sometimes, the best time to talk about calming down is when they’re already calm. Next time you’re both feeling peaceful, try having a conversation like this:
- “I notice that sometimes when you feel mad, you [yell/throw things/hit]. We all feel angry sometimes, and that’s okay. It’s what we do with our anger that matters. What are some things you think might help when you feel that way?”
Brainstorm ideas together, like:
- Screaming into a pillow
- Jumping on the trampoline
- Taking deep breaths
- Going for a walk
- Drawing or coloring
Then, create a Chart of Choices together! This visual reminder helps children take ownership of their emotions and solutions, reinforcing faith-based wisdom in handling anger.
3. Christian Parenting Tips for Child’s Anger: Teach That Anger Is Okay—It’s What We Do With It That Matters
Your heart for reaching your child, not just modifying behavior, is beautiful—and it’s the key to true heart change. Christian parenting tips for child’s anger emphasize reaching the heart, not just managing outward behavior.
When your child is upset, connect before correcting:
- Acknowledge Their Anger: “I see that you’re upset.”
- Allow the Emotion: “I understand why you’re feeling this way.”
- Find Acceptable Solutions: “Would you like to pick something off your Chart of Choices?”
These steps ensure that your child feels seen, heard, and supported while also learning how to manage anger in a Christ-centered way.
Encouragement from God’s Word
I know this journey of guiding your child’s heart can feel overwhelming at times, but remember—you’re not doing this alone. God is right there with you, giving you the wisdom and strength you need.
“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.” – Psalm 103:8
What a beautiful reminder that as we learn to be slow to anger and abound in love, we reflect God’s character to our children. Christian parenting tips for child’s anger ultimately align with God’s heart for us—helping us lead our children with grace and wisdom.
4. Keep Going—You’re Doing Amazing Work
I know it can feel overwhelming. I know it’s hard. But keep showing up. Keep modeling. Keep teaching. You are planting seeds that will grow, even if you don’t see it right away.
If you’re looking for even more guidance and practical tools to navigate these big emotions (both for your child and yourself), I wanted to let you know about something special. My Emotionally Healthy Mini-Course is going on sale this Friday! It’s designed to help you better understand and manage emotions with faith-based, practical strategies. If you’re interested, keep an eye out—I’ll be sending more details soon!
If This Resonates with You, Here’s How to Take the Next Step:
- Practice Acknowledging Emotions: Start by validating your child’s feelings without trying to fix them immediately.
- Create a Chart of Choices: Brainstorm healthy ways to handle big emotions together.
- Join the Waitlist for the Emotionally Healthy Mini-Course: Get practical, Christ-centered tools for navigating big emotions.
You are not alone in this, and you’re doing beautiful, important work.
Blessings,
Kristin
